i jumped on facebook this afternoon to post a few quick things...and a girl from high school im’d me. the last time i saw her was at the office when she was applying for a job, which i was frightened she would get because i had already done my time with her in high school. she did take me to see REM at the old Arena, but only because the boy she asked said no. i will forever be in her debt for that one. she is nice, but one of those big haired girls who you would think was from texas (Not that there is anything wrong with Texas - but you know the type), but she's really from Sullivan which is i guess is south of here and are known for their large KKK presence - they got in a huge legal battle a few years ago because they wanted to sponsor the highway clean up program and have their own sign.

she’s the one always dredging up those all high school photos on facebook where i have ridiculous 80s hair, giant glasses and sort of look like in owl in most of them because they are from concert choir. where are my cool cheerleading pictures? oh that’s right, she wasn’t a cheerleader. (insert bitchy high school laugh here) i wasn’t the epitome of the cheerleader. i was the crossover person - had friends in all “groups” and high school classifications, well as much as you can when there are 80 kids in your private catholic school grade level and you’re all pretty much white middle class, except for that one random baptist who got kicked out of all the other schools, and that one african american boy who was there for a while - which didn’t last long because you couldn’t even talk to him because he hated white people. total reverse discrimination. i did branch out and date that public school boy i met at the fair for a while...scandal.

Anyway, she IMs me and says..."Did you know Chris H is on facebook?" i have no idea why she’s telling me or how to respond, so i say “wow – no haven’t heard anything about him in yours’ (nor care to I should have said). She says “Well, he’s on his 3rd marriage/relationship”...i can see her sitting at her computer typing, all eyebrow raised and judgmental. At this point I want to say. Well, we can’t all marry our prom date. But I didn’t. I say – I have to go to a meeting...and log out. omg small towns. Love them for many reasons, don’t live there now for many reasons. seriously. she married her prom date - again, not that there is anything wrong with that, but don’t be spying on high school “friends” and saying stuff like that about them. she wasn’t like...he has 2 cute kids or he moved to cleveland...nope, go straight to the brand of what type of relationship or non-relationship he was in. how would you even know there were 3 ? 3 sets of mismatched kids? 3 of those insane “chris is now single” updates? no matter how far away you may get in distance and in time, you’re still always going to be someone’s definition of (high school) misfit.

did i mention she wore her prom dress on halloween this year...and went with her actual prom date...ok...i’ll let it go.

strange how when i have the most to say i write the least. i went to a shrink once, she called it ruminating. i just think and think and think and while i’m thinking someone else actually does something to correct the situation i’m thinking about. problem solved. and i didn’t have to do anything..and then what’s even better is later on i get to feel all offended if i don’t like the outcome because it wasn’t solely my decision. my brain rocks. you can use this technique in many instances such as waiting and waiting and waiting to eat dinner until then it’s too late to go to the gym because your food has to digest for 2 hours. or contemplating buying something and waiting so long it’s sold out or the sale is over. it’s particularly useful for concert tickets...contemplate going - will i suddenly be out of town? so many mysterious i must consider until the show is sold out or i forget about it...but look how much free time i have? however i won’t be seeing Josh Radin this weekend at the Duck Room. it’s also handy if a recruiter calls...very stressful whether if you’re interested or not. it’s too much to think about, but it wouldn’t hurt to look into right? i usually get to the first conversation and then think and think and think so long it’s embarrassing late to send my resume or i wait an insane amount of time to return phone calls. perfect. i didn’t have to worry about getting it...liking it or maybe turning it down, my ol’ noggin took care of all the stress. Just think, don’t act. sometimes i just ruminate because it’s safer inside my brain. i can play out scenarios from all agonizing and interesting and a lot of times imagined angles. it’s different then the vow i made to not have one conversation in my head and another one coming out of my mouth. it’s more just this cloudiness that’s somewhere in the back of my mind churning away on things i need to resolve, while getting the crap kicked out of it by my - enjoy the moment, forget about the consequences, there is always tomorrow reflex.

but for some people it would be very helpful if they would think more and share less. a friend’s grandfather passed away this weekend. i got an email from someone telling a few of us the news and added...and their italian...italian families are very close. I wanted to respond - where as germans...we like to keep our elderly locked in the basement.

think. then speak.

so much for being inspired by the new computer to write. by the way her name is natasha, thanks to some collaboration with Di, and she really is lovely. we had our first class together at the apple store, where the very nice girl gave me some covert info on how to download my iPod onto my new computer since my original iTunes etc were on the other one. and i totally did it myself! take that you pocket protector wearing geek speakers! i did the research, downloaded the program - turned my iPod into the disk mode and sucked it right onto my computer. i felt very accomplished and a bit like a ruler breaker...naughty little natasha with her covert music collection. and i totally had to pay attention to detail - so not my thing. i was reminded of when i first starting cooking and would just put all the ingredients together in the order they were listed in the recipe...big lesson when you realize that the do mean mix the eggs and flour together in a separate bowl or wait until the batter is ready to add in the chocolate chips. completely different outcome. i was paranoid i was going to erase all my music. and the best was in the FAQ of the program it said “i followed the steps and i still erased all the music on my iPod”...and answer was something like...”we told you what to do and what not to and obviously you were an idiot.” not those exact words, but not far off.

it saved me hours of trying to figure out what music was where. and yes, i do regret throwing away a gajillion CDs and not only for the environmental impact, but because i thought for sure i was jacked and had lost a ton of music. she also taught me that my iPhone has a gps tracker so if i lose it i just log into the system and it tells me where it is! i can even send threatening messages to the phone if i think it’s been stolen...the police on their way....I know where you are. creepy, (and potentially dangerous) but so cool. she explained that i wouldn’t have the same teacher all the time - it’s apple’s way of cultivating independent thinkers since everyone has such a diverse teaching style and knowledge base. which totally makes sense because the person i bought it from told me about completely different features than others i had spoken to. i need to schedule my next class...i can’t figure out spellcheck and i have all these secured folders that i can’t even get into...crazy over protective natasha.