I think I got a rash on my arm at Wal Mart

I picked up Trisha from the airport Friday about 9 a.m. after I’d already had a traumatic morning of going for a run while I was starving which makes me completely irrational and cranky and having to head to the bread company in the loop to get water to wash down the grass clippings I inhaled somewhere along my route that were making me cough.

I drop her off, get cleaned up and Laurie and I go to Kopperman’s for brunch after countless weeks of not seeing each other. It was soo good to see her face. We have a standing Monday night phone date to watch the Bachlorette, which has been interrupted by my recent lack of cable. It’s been broken going on 3 weeks and I’m enjoying the quiet so much I keep forgetting to schedule the repairman. Like today, here it is a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I’ve gone grocery shopping, made salmon for dinner and am getting some much needed writing in instead of getting sucked in to catching up on this season of Weeds. (although I am curious to what’s happening)

As many times as Trisha and I take the trip to Washington we never stop laughing at the same things. One of our favorites is the seductive looking sleepy time bear on the billboards for the Diamond Inn....he gets a lot of mileage as we pass images of him with this arms outstretched beckoning on the weary (female) traveler. We also always discuss the Elf Tuck Ins the Ramada promoted during the holidays and wonder if they brought them back for the 4th of July in some patriotic form. And a lot of times we sing random songs, usually from the radio or iPod. This time it was the song about how God told Noah to build an arc – taught to us in the 2nd grade by Ms. Bozo. Build it out of birchy bark barky...children of the Lord. Sorry if you know it because know it’s stuck in your head. Trisha brought it up because birch was an answer to a recent NY Times crossword puzzle...on second thought she remembered it was gopher wood, but the association was made just the same. Then she kept singing children of the corn instead of children on the Lord and she made herself laugh every time. How boring it must be to not have a sister.

We get to town and she needs to go to Wal-Mart to look for some kind of tape to hem her pants. We walk in – my first time in the new store they built a couple of years ago – and my first comment was – wow, now more hoosiers per square foot. It was like we were suddenly in Arkansas – which I shouldn’t say since I’m sure those people are very nice. But it was really really filled with sketchy people. Not going to kill you sketchy people like the one on Hanley, but are your parents related sketchy people. When we were leaving I said – did you get the feeling everyone was looking at us like they knew us – and she agreed. I kept thinking I was supposed to recognize someone if they looked remotely normal and they may have been thinking the same. Mom later said maybe they thought you were twins – which she thinks is funny because she says the only time she thinks we look alike it when we’re in bed and have the covers pulled up around us.

We get in the car and get out the antibacterial wipes, I look down and say – I think I got a rash on my arm! So we get to our parents I walk in and announce I have a rash on my arm from Wal Mart. I love when I can illicit the – how did I raise such high maintenance child look – from my mother. The next day my aunt and uncle from Texas came in and totally unsolicited start talking about the scary people in Wal-Mart. Not that I should find this surprising, but it was really twilight zone ish...where have all the real towns people gone?

It’s so peaceful being out there. The house all opened up, the breeze coming in the windows while you sleep. I spotted a turkey and her new babies way down in the old riding arena, who apparently likes to stop by and visit my parents. They were so pleased to see the babies, they were afraid something had gotten to the eggs. I told my mom it was so relaxing, like being at a bed and breakfast. I said – I just took my nap during the ballgame...bed...and now I’m going to eat dinner...breakfast. I really was looking forward to being out there for the weekend. Great place to recharge. I seriously need a vacation.

My parents haven’t killed each other with the remote control as I speculated since they now have cable, but they have unfortunately discovered – I’m not even making this up – some sort of farm bureau channel. And also the hallmark channel – which is cheesy like lifetime but with more westerns. We watched Seraphim Falls Friday night which was the dumbest movie I have even seen in my life – Pierce Brosnan – who normally would be easy on the eyes and I could watch him for 2 ½ hours plays a man being hunted by some other guys in the old west. You don’t know why until near the very end, and then you’re pretty sure you want the guys to catch him. In the end they find each other and then go their separate ways. Nobody forgives in the old west! So dumb!

Saturday morning I woke up and it was really bright outside and I knew I had slept late. No one woke me up. I finally start moving around and I hear Trisha say – oh sure, I knew she’d wake up as soon as the work was done. My dad agrees and they get all mock grumbly and my mom says....well you two knew where she was this whole time if you needed her help you should’ve gone to get her. It was so cute to hear my mom defend me – nobody bitches about her baby! It was almost 10 a.m. and it felt so good to sleep in, couldn’t remember the last time I got to do that.

I guess later in the day Trisha got all mouthy and kept telling me to do stuff. Sadly, it actually didn’t even phase me. My mom said – you better watch the way you talk to her...one day you’re really going to get into a fight! She’s actually right. We can both only take so much of each other – and God help us if one of us hasn’t eaten. But we bounce back quickly. We’ve had two big fights recently one about Monsanto and the other about work. Neither worth losing sleep. I usually diffuse them by talking a lot and trying to confuse her and make her think I’d been agreeing with her the whole time. It’s just easier.

There was plenty of work to do...I had to get the snowman that sings about being snow miser up from the basement. My mom was raving about this new tree she found that she’s sure I’ll love and want to use next year. She kept emphasizing...it already has the lights on it....like we’re in an infomercial. I walk downstairs with Trisha and stop – I say – oh hell no I’m not using that tree next year! It’s tiny and this fluorescent aluminum green color. It’s fine for today, but no way.

Perhaps I should explain. Many years ago it was my father’s turn to have Christmas. He and his siblings all take turns. On his given year it kept icing and snowing so he had to keep rescheduling. Finally he says screw it, we’ll do it in July. His sibling should know not to doubt my father, but I’m sure they were a bit surprised to find the invitation that year – to our Christmas party on July 4th weekend. My mom completely decorates, she even wore her gingerbread apron all day. Most of the siblings keep up the tradition with Christmas decorations, but I think my mom enjoys it the most. The house was fully 4th of july when we got there Friday – Saturday it became Christmas – and Sunday morning it was back to normal before breakfast. Even baby Jesus was in the manger under the tree...in the driveway. The wise guys get all confused by the fireworks and usually don’t make it.